=rem #18339 Use explicit handshake timeout

* instead of using transport failure detector
* add a new config property akka.remote.handshake-timeout, but
  for netty.tcp and netty.ssl the existing netty.tcp.connection-timeout
  setting will be used
* add test of the timeouts
* mima filter for internal ProtocolStateActor

akka-cluster/src/multi-jvm/scala/akka/cluster/SurviveNetworkInstabilitySpec.scala

@@ -34,7 +34,10 @@ object SurviveNetworkInstabilityMultiJvmSpec extends MultiNodeConfig {
   val eighth = role("eighth")
 
   commonConfig(debugConfig(on = false).withFallback(
-    ConfigFactory.parseString("akka.remote.system-message-buffer-size=100")).
+    ConfigFactory.parseString("""
+      akka.remote.system-message-buffer-size=100
+      akka.remote.netty.tcp.connection-timeout = 10s
+      """)).
     withFallback(MultiNodeClusterSpec.clusterConfig))
 
   testTransport(on = true)